lkrom

12:05 pm: random quotes
Meet Demand with Silence. Challenge with question.

Personal slights, dashed hope, betrayals, and the accretion of hostile acts.

Incapable of the easy gesture, and incapable too of the small hypocrisies that carry other men through life.

Wisest of men allows his wisdom to be perpetually broken against the rocks of femininity.

01:48 am: courage to start anew...
10/11/09

It's the 2 year anniversary of the most painful event of my life.

and contrary to the title, I don't have the courage to start anew.
or faith to take comfort in my friends.

11:47 am: Quotes
You are always careful when it counts and i can depend on that, isn't that right?

Distance is not hard. Instead it is taking the first step that is hard.

The first of life's two great tragedies is not being able to get heart's desire. The other is getting it.

I just stood in Jack's office and said, "Screw friendship, screw honor, screw patriotism." That's how I talked about myself. And then I added, "We just lost the franchise." That's how I talked about Matt, who would stand in front of a train for any of us, including you while you're screwing Luke. He's been threatened by the Network, compromised by me, brow-beaten by you, heart-broken by Wes, and he's still standing up. Why am I quitting? Cause they're gonna start shooting at him and I'm gonna be standing next to him when they do.

He wanted to be free, should he ever fall in love again, to let his new wife be as greedy as Margaret in her love, and expect him to take care of her.

Tired of charring my ass on your backburner.

If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or build a better mousetrap than his neighbor, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door

01:37 am: Interests
Muse hates writing lyrics.
Listening to Muse-Blackout while reading A Happy Marriage was... almost trancy. Who needs shrooms?
Turbo button on game emulators and anytime saving ruins games and mocks human discipline.

Daily regime: 10 upsidedown push-ups, 40 pull-ups, 40 push-ups.
Sketchbook: 3 1/4 pages and exponentially slowly filling.

Obnoxiously obvious but still surprising to see how insanely easy to entertain innocent and impossible-age-different smittenness(?) makes.
Sentence fragment is also sentence fragment.

02:58 pm: surrender
The old dancing pill is reassuring. Even though Livejournal age has come and gone, like the forgotten dot.com era, I seek solace in it.

Memory of being loudmouth at 2nd grade. Feeling of hurt when a careless gossip has earned me an admonition from an angry friend was so vivid, vowed never to be careless again. 20 years later, I've finally reached the critical mass where I stand drained and empty, honor and loyalty purchased with solitude no longer appealing to me.

Anna

I feel so lost without her.
In a year's time I've recovered less than her, yet who in the right mind would complain that they are the true victim in this situation? I feel as if I will physically implode if I don't tell a soul and have made numerous attempt to tell a couple close friends. Yet the memory of broken silence haunts me. High school kids that I tutor provide me my only comfort. Albeit how flitting it is.

With the 27th birthday approaching, I stand in absolute awe reflecting on just how long my 26th year has been.

Fon found blinding happiness with her new boyfriend in San Fran. Despite the sub-par parting ways, I am envious and happy for her. Mischievously feel betrayed that she has found love before me, and can in a bit sympathize with gays losing their fag hags (pardon my French, I mean this endearingly).
I want to watch a movie with Enkhe, but conscious tells me not to be cruel. I've handled her uncharacteristically smitten advances callously and awkwardly and caused her visible shame. Is it so terrible for two lonely people to just reach out for someone to watch movies in silence together?

I tell Anna I will love her and wait for her always. And it hits me with tiny surprise every time that I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I'm not sure if I have the courage to follow through with the romantic gesture. I'm not sure if I have the courage to break out of the promise either.
I learned to how to be alone and not lonely the first 22 years of my life. Anna was my biggest blessing and curse.

I know the formula to be happy. Something to do. Something to love. Something to hope for. I can't find the reagents.

02:05 am: Smiling
My new thing to do.
I was totally emo'd out for past few weeks, and trying to work out of it (taking way too long to do it). I know it can be unpleasant to be around for others, but I am goign to work it out on my own pace. One of my 'own pace' that I started couple days ago, is forcing myself to smile. It's one of those body over mind thing. 'Fool' myself, and help put 1 leg up on myself. I like it. if nothing, it'll help me tone out my smiling muscles if nothing else.


My biggest reason for setting goal of medical is my reinforced dream of intellectual impotence. When my dreams told me that I was completely incapable of passing a class, rather devestatingly, I think it's my brain trying to desperately telling me soemthing. My dream that I been tossing about since year and half ago. I do want to do it right this time. a goal. A goal would definitely a nice thing to have. Not sure if I'd call it an ambition, honestly I don't really care about the money that much. In a way I do, of course i do, who am i fooling haha. But I want to be challenged.


I learned how to play "falling slowly - Once" on guitar. About 85% good. only couple spots I kinda fumble and recover. Even singing at the range of Glen Hasgard and everything. (my brother gets annoyed when I off-tone the octave jump haha)
So proud of myself.
Still only 40% or so on blackbird. I get rushy on easy parts and totally own myself. The overeagerness, it's totally like the old days of when I was playing piano. fondness of remembering my youth, and regretful bitterness of why I stopped playing piano. Compared to my brother, I was never in tuned with music anyway. It was more of muscle memory, almost akin to playing sports for me. Not appreciation.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elephant_Vanishes

Reading that right now. I hate and love Haruki Murakami.
I hate him because I can't believe he gets away with these bullshit. Publishing a fucking book on collection of eccentric short stories while sounds neat on paper, but the short stories are essentially unrefined blurb of plotless emotion-fest/unchecked-imagination on random normal events of life.
"The elephant vanishes"?
might as well call the book: "zomg, wanna pay $15 to read my xanga?"
I could very easily write the same shit if I didn't restrain myself to keep my posts on livejournal to about a single page.
Yet.. I can't stop reading it(albeit at very leisurely pace). why? because I love it for the exact same reasons.

02:30 pm: Doing dishes
is oddly therapeutic.
It's meditating for me, as much as I fight nail and bones to avoid it.

Running with Scissors, a frivolously narcissistic book about what it's like to grow up gay including a couple of incredibly vivid insight on what goes on in the bedroom, makes couple of Eureka-esque points in that most people do not realize that total LACK of direction in life is the biggest loss of freedom.

Sidenote, I'm just speculating but, it seems like being gay is incredible amount of haggling and fumbling in the dark. I understand that the society on overall is not very accepting towards the gays besides few communities here and there; but still, it seems like there are two separate entities: the mentality of acting like the society's stereotype of how a gay person thinks and acts in public; and actual attraction towards the same sex.


I say this, it's along the theme of my feeling towards life right now. Most people know me would identify as introverted. While I don't disagree with certain aspect of the description, yes I tend to be cautious and can be private about my own feelings, values, etc. But I also think that study of psychology is such a hack of a science, on a level of study of illusions and tricks. (obligatory GOB quote: ILLUSIONS dad, you don't like my ILLUSIONS! cue final countdown~)

It's a science that most self-respecting brilliant minds would avoid in general, and the dumber general population would laugh and clap at couple of neat prophetic descriptions, nevermind that are the descriptions are generic enough that they cover the majority no matter who the audiences are.

Coming back to the item of introvertedness, yes, I can be cautious, yes I had at a point of my life where I strongly favored repetitions, and yes that draws comparisons to an OCD person who tend to be introverted. But that is crock load of shit. Couple traits of my life does not draw conclusion based on tarot cards that determine what kind of a person I am in a whole.

Exhibit A: I absolutely loved my job, enough to get excited about studying for a fucking law school, back when I was with 15 of greatest co-workers working in the same room with me. I was focused, I was content, and I loved every part of it. As soon as I was shipped to a solitary confinement that is closed off cubicle that houses 2, my roommate who I barely get to see thanks to his crazy(bit of mine too, actually) work schedule) and I'm going crazy from lack of human interactions.
I absolutely LOVE socializing. I live to empathize. I Live to make others laugh. I LIVE to make others think. What kind of horndog imbecile decided that not blurting out everything about your smallest insecurities in seeking approval from pitying masses boxes you in to hatemongering misanthrope? And what kind of renegade lunatic decided to award him with a Ph.D?


Anyways.
I like to end with a lighter note.
My buffoons of softball/football teammates were in discussion of our next season's team name.

Rob's suggestion:
Isotopes
Vance Refrigeration
That’s what she said
Rex Kwon Do (this will be extra sweet when we defeat the yellow team- Kobra Kai)
ESPN Ocho
Globo Gym
Office Olympians
(hint hint, can you figure out what his favorite tv shows are? Yea.. Rob's not that deep of a person to figure out. haha)

someone else suggested:
Breakfast with Your Girlfriend

Then pete, the formerly 280lb, now 180lb farmboy with masters from Harvard (oh yea, he's a whole new story on his own, that's for another time)
Team Voldemort

he, of course responseds to others' accusation of being a dork with:
"uhh Voldemort is the greatest literary villain of our generation or any generation for that matter and if we somehow end up playing children the intimidation factor would be unreal"

12:54 am: Dreams
Holy crap...

Feeling melancholy, partly due to no longer feeling home at home (see last post), turned on the TV for some channel surfing. Some chuckles from Conan. Some mediocre jokes from the daily show. Then the commercials. My zealousy of commercials.. I shall dwell on it another time.

But it was an ordinary, 'ironic' semi-comical commercial.
And all the sudden there's a close-up of the dude in it. Who should it be.. it's my Drum Line instructor at Duke, Ray!
Fricking, I can't remember his last name for the life of me, and there aren't really friends out there I still keep in touch with that can help me out with this.

But this opened up a floodgate of emotions.
Ray.
A guy in his early 30's, sticking around at Duke University Marching Band (DUMB). The coolest old guy around, with kooky sense of humor that fits perfectly with college kids, who he hangs out with all the time anyways. (YA... he's that OLD guy that hangs out around school, albeit he has a decent reason for it. but still)
He has some awesome stories though. His lifelong dream was to be a stuntman. He participated in softcore porn, was in some amazingly terrible B movie as a stuntman that's hilarious to watch when you are drunk. At my junior year, he was offered a role as Indiana Jones at the universal studios.

And apparently it was a hard decision to abandon us. I did have tons of fun with him, I hold marching band dearly in my heart. But come the fuck on! His lifelong dream! versus hanging out with buncha college kids as "THAT OLD GUY", and oh that side job as high school cheerleader coaching and competition judge. YEA. He was that cool.

Anyway, so he's following his dreams. Goddamn, good for him. Now I know 3 people who are in TV. Muahahahaha

06:42 pm: 아쉬운 마음
... is fading away everyday.

stayed up until 4am reading book 7 of wheel of time last night. I really don't know why, but it IS such a guilty pleasure for me. I feel like it's such a waste of time. 11 books, 500 pg on average, and traversing through them, not even thorough reading thanks to this guilty feeling that this is a collosal waste of time.

I never feel like I'm wasting my time when I watch how aluminum pots are made or how mushrooms are harvested. I don't feel like I'm wasting my time when I watch each episode of Futurama for the 10th time until I can quote most episodes.
"once again the conservative sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!" *chomp chomp chomp* "Oh... I'm ruined! WUAHAHAHAHAHAH why...."
I never felt like I was wasting my time when I read the 3 kingdoms in 5 different versions, the last one in 10 book series. Thick. And in korean.

So why now?
I think it's largely social context. At 25, I feel like people are Fascinated, much like 2nd graders in a hands-on museum, about the discovery channel. Along with commercials, it's such a great ice breaker.
cue Jerry Maguire's Ray: "The Human Head weighs Five Pounds."

It's funny, the very thing I dismissed as a pre-teen and early teen as useless, degrading, and total waste of time and brilliance, socializing, has become the guiding star for evaluating my everyday actions.


My life:
I go to work late. Irregular is better. Because I can. I'm on severely flexible schedule, where performance is so clear-cut that they have absolute disregard for my punctuality. Plus both my supervisors are on vacation so honestly, I don't care right now.
I come home. I stopped watching tv, and if tv doens't come on webclip form, I don't bother at this point. I play a single game of warcraft 3: Defense of Ancients (aka Dota).

This has been my 1 loyal game over the years, it's amazingly well-made customized game and it has everything. Versatility (almost 100 heroes to choose from), replayability, balance, high skill cap, emphasis on team play, also rewards individual skill such as timing, also, like other internet games, talking trash.

I like being competitive, It keeps me sharp. It's kinda like socializing with witty smart alec friends. But bad thing about it is that you kinda have to play the minimum amount even when you are bored of it, because you anticipate tomorrow, or next week's desire to play. And if you suck, it's not fun.
It's weird state of mine that I've been stuck in for past few weeks. Hell months. And I'm not entirely sure that "tomorrow, or next week's desire to play" has arrived yet. It's kinda one of those 'it's got a mind of its own~' mindset. I'm stuck in a loop. In a rut.

I bike to work now.
I love biking once I get started. Sure the last couple blocks are always amazingly strenuous. The ride is 4.5 mi each way, with a very very gentle sloped valley formation. There's long downhill trot that lasts for good 4-5 blocks at beginning of each ride. And the opposite at the end with flat smooth ride in the middle. Each part has their own inspirations. Challenge. Comfort. Just simple euphoria from excercising. And yet, before each ride, I dread the journey to work or home, adding to my irregular work schedule. Irregular in a bad sense.

Odd feeling. I KNOW it'll be fun once I get started, but I don't want to get started. It's beyond sheer laziness. Laziness is apathetic, this is almost pure hate, and anger. I'm same way with going out.
I feel like it's one of those things, that If I just sit down and pick my own brain out a bit it'll be blatantly obvious, and something I can fix, the irony of my... not even sure what word to describe it really.

04:53 pm: Precision vs Accuracy.

Overly interused, yet faily easy to come up with examples to wedge between the difference.

There should similar twosome for stupid.
I supposed stupid vs ignorant will do. But it's interesting to see how incredibly offensive the word 'ignorant' has become. Straying from original meaning, the word has become almost synonymous to 'discrimination'.

Why?
It's one thing to be stupid, and since true mentally challenged have been granted immunity from society's insults, the word has strayed to one who doesn't think. Irresponsible mainly.
Whereas Ignorant, should mean when an individual is exposed to foreign environment and should be pardoned from the environment as such.

And yet the severity of the words has switched places somewhat.
Kinda bothers me.


Interesting story/conversation topics:

male/female confrontation
young/old misunderstanding
Sarcasm

Covering incredibly large percentage of favorite topics, the three seem to have somewhat of a common 'secret ingredient'.

Conflict caused by immaturity.


So if immaturity brings on such LIFE, such ENERGY, why does society frown upon it so much?

06:47 am: Brainstorm
"NOT EVERYTHING LIFE CAN BE DESCRIBED WITH FUTURAMA DUDE"
"YES! IT SO CAN!" (insert wild enthusiastic hand jesture)

If you can digest that exchange fully, you already know 80% the human being that is Keeram Lee (Or My Dick, or M.D. in persian. I'll address myself as M.D. hereinafter)


In my defense: the scenario went as such:

let me step back a bit further.

Introducing the main players at my work: (aka curly, larry, and moe)

Curly -
T-Vo. His girlfriend is neurotic and calls him 40 times a day. Probably more. He has her ringtone set to "What is Love?" in night in roxbury. When we go out with him, we don't need music. We pretty much have that music on semi-permanently.
Flips out on any sign of other male approaching his prized girl.
Constantly writes suggestive(though weak) messages on random girls he think is hot on facebook. His girlfriend has restricted access to his profile, but does she stop her? No, she has her friends spying on him.
One weekend he gets into huge screaming argument telling his girlfriend to erase her facebook and myspace profile with him. He's sick of the spying. She cries because her professionally done glamour shot so well presented in her mySpace is more important to her than her virginity. (hahah.. probably poor choice of example) Hours of hilarity ensues at work.
He doesn't last couple weeks before he's created a new secret profile to continue his 'subtle' poking at random girls if you know what I mean. (whoever on facebook staff came up with the term 'poke' should be garroted)
Severely addicted to gambling, as in he could've made multiple trips to the world series of poker with all the money he've lost.
Still waist deep in debt, just spent couple grand on secret illegal casino in mountains of North Carolina on CASH ADVANCE.
Just bought himself a new bike. Reason? To pick up girls. This is the literal reason, not guys sitting around joking around reason.
Constantly talks shit about how he's the greatest chick magnet. Acts like a middle schooler just entering puberty and was forced in to his first school dance around girls at clubs.
Like curly, quite impossible to understand.
Yes, I know you haters out there think I have similar problem as well, but you have not seen T-Vo I say.

Larry -
Ash - aka Burnt Pita(not as regular name as T-Vo). Like Larry, doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. Ironically, his motto is "speak softly and carry a big stick". You have to spend a couple of hours with him to truly appreciate it. Actually more like 10 minutes. Secretly prides himself for being a lawyer and loves to use the phrases: Listen to me, and Honestly. (about 1.5 occurences per sentence I'd say) If there is a guiness book record of biggest self-cock-blocker, he'd be a rich man. (do they give monetary reward?) Life's passion of pulling pranks that spirals out of control. His hand-eye coordination is about as good as Forrest Gump's IQ. Does he still talk trash? It really wouldn't be Ash w/o em. Constantly makes big plans and usually never pulls through. Doesn't drink but prides himself in acting drunk. Better person to make fun of than Saddam and Kim Jung Il combined. Why? instant satisfaction. I always thought it was impossible, but he somehow makes having a foot in his mouth and a foot up his ass at the same time possible. Quite a guy he is.

Moe -
Saeed - Shares Moe's random burst of violence. Fat. Not that Ash's a skinny guy either. Rumor and suspiscion that he's a closet case. Resume not as impressive as Curly or Larry, but you really have to meet him. He's still quite something. Completes the 3 stooges perfectly.


So the scenario was, T-Vo and Ash took lessons to get license for bike couple weeks ago. And after checking out T-Vo's new bike, Ash announced that he was going to get himself a bike last night after work. We all instantly all rip on him, we all know he's all talk. And he admits as such afterwards.

I'm sorry, but this is a perfect example of anthology of interest episode where Leela becomes impulsive; when Leela's bragging her impulsive 'shopping spree' of buying boots that has a CRAZY new green strip at the side, but for the most part the same boots as she usually wear.
At the same time, unannounced, Fry's eating stuffing and gravy from top of his head.

As perfect example that was, and come on, who isn't deprived of Futurama nowadays, in this critical time of transition to new era of Futurama?
I realized that I went a bit far as I usually do with a friend after I hung out with him for a while, no matter how long of a streak that I had with him of laughing at Futurama references together.


This is why I hate Livejournal.
A 2 second idea very quickly explodes into wall-of-text.


http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/trends/n_9437

neat read. Rare find.
It shows the story of muslim women, from their perspective, at purest level. Uncorrupted by politics.

04:57 am: Where were we?
Feel strange impressed by the general american population.

Yea yea america has the world's top 2 worst literacy rate among developed countries.
I think a strong factor for that is the unusal land to population ratio that U.S. enjoys that's normally not observed in typical developed countries.

Agriculture.
I've had co-workers and co-workers of friends who were son of farmers and it's quite interesting.
They take summer vacations, company allowing(it's a programming company in small town among farmlands), to help the harvest etc.
They also have strangely stereotypical look, like santa clause oughta look in his younger years.
Oh, and my friend Rob has shared the story, rather histerically that his farmer friend at work was spotted curling 90lb without a change in his breathing patterns.

For female audiences, that's 15lb lighter than your own weight, and 45lb lighter than your ACTUAL weight.
And for perspective, when I was fit(and I was lauded to be very strong for my size and weight at the time) I was curling 35lb and you should've seen how red my face was.


So anyway, Farmfolks and Mountainfolks and Amish people aside,
yes, I know I have incredibly generalizing tendencies,
Typical american people i.e. middle~middle-upper class americans deserve lot more credit than I gave them at first.


I'd like to point out that this train of thought have originated from my recent obsession with the show House and revisiting old favorite the West Wing.
Yes the shows show incredibly skewed and dramatized people who are exceedingly smart and have the work ethic to go with it, though they show it rather subtly.

Typical trashy sorority girls that you've witnessed countless times yelling out the world's most annoying mating call - "I'm so drunk!"
I had one and only chance to room with one of them during my stay in australia and I was impressed at her work ethics during the day.
Re-copying and Re-organizing every lecture notes after every single class diligently. Numerous highlighters, not just used in giggly girly fashion to make the textbook purty but actuallyg helping in taking the time to absorb the materials better.
Having as far as I know, perfect class attendence, much better than me and my friends who generally look down at them as academically and work-ethically inferior to us while having subpar class attendence.

Added to my new impressions on people I've had the good fortune to work with over the 2 years since my graduation; I think it's fair to say that my presumed impression of Saved by the Bell's Zach Morris-ish yuppies are antiquated.
These young urban professionals are exactly what it is, Professionals.

And it shames me almost.
Well, it does actually shame me, but unlike my dad's side of the family who suffer from hereditary depression, I tend to get over them.

But gone are the days of my unchallenging academia until my college underclassman years. I'm not special. I have much so very much to learn.


And still somewhat envious of my brother for having paved himself a solid road to Medical school. However unsure he is at the moment.
I believe med school will be the panacea to my unambitious career goals; My apathy to do something great in life; Continual atrophy of my brain at a scary rate.
However I do have very minute trickle of doubt that was magnified by the very unsupportive Duke Med School advisor - what if once I start on that road I want to give up? What if this will NOT jump-start my thirst for academia that has slowly waned since my high school competetive mathematics years?

07:24 pm: The Keeram Lee show
http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=22782

first and foremost.
I had to get this out.
If I had to make a tally of total amount of my life,
that I spent on quoting futurama with my selective few futurama friends,
it would amount to about 2 weeks.

now, taking account that each quotation takes about on avg 10 sec.,
and the show is only few years old, this is quite an impressive number.
Also you can imagine how obnoxious we would be constantly quoting this
if an outsider were present in the conversation.

Now, that 2 weeks is a number totally pulled out of my ass,
but I wouldn't be surprised at its accuracy.



So I decided to return on my crazy scheme to read the whole MCAT study book,
ok, let's be fair to the readers.
It is but 1 of 9 books my brother has to study, but let me reassure you,
if I were to knock you upside the head with this book, it's so sizeable that
you would be in a coma so huge that it'll appeal to the the guiness book of records.

As my Italia friend Brian would point out with his squinty face on,
"Shtop twying to shteel oua seakwits! It weshten mediceen seakwit! you don't shteel oua seakwits!"
but I've always found chemistry enticing.
also, it's not even really returning to it after a long break.
I just read it up to page 8 like a week ago and stopped after 1.5 days.
FOR FUN.
apparently I DID need to verify my asianness much like
a heterosexual men must fondle a random breast every week to reaffirm his hetorosexual-ness.
What?
that's not legal you say?


another tanfastic news,
I'm now at lvl 19 of deathball.net/notpron
and whew lvl 17 took a while.
want proof?
I can send you pictures if you need. (elbow nudge elbow nudge that only really geeky will get)


I will end my triumphant return with this.
Anna likes to make me eat my words.
She likes to convince me about how unphotogenic she is constantly.
it's some sort of girl-strategy, that I've yet to successfully ward again.
She like to goad me by also pointing out that I am also unphotogenic.

Now, this statement is very true.
Given this, and after couple past instances of seeing some of her NOT so flattering pictures,
as a fellow unphotogenic personnel, I am less cautious in giving in to the agreement,
that she, in fact is not so photogenic in the most recent picture in question.


Of course, little bit later, when I do get my constant Anna-craving back,
and stare at given latest picture of hers for a while,
like the mysteries of beer google, that the discovery channel can't even figure out,
I swear from my previous biased judgement of iffy-unphotogenic-ness of the said picture,
the picture starts to look better and better and better.
Until it comes to the point of grim realization:
"Ah crap. She looks beautiful in this picture."

Now let me finish.
sure enough, in her display of the picture,
from her select friends who are apparently harshest critics she receive fondest comments/replies.
and then I see my death sentence:
"KEERAM AGREES THAT I AM UNPHOTOGENIC IN THIS PICTURE AND ALLLLLLLL OTHER TIMES!!!"


I like to end this with my preferance of my epitaph.
I would like it to be the most badass of the epitaphs. Inspired by Royal tennenbaums.
"Died heroically single-handedly inhaling the entire contents of the toxic nerve gas,
that's set to release and destroy the entire white house and everything that holds this country together"

Or something more badass.
Suggestions welcome.

09:38 pm: I swear
Anna just claimed that she's more beautiful than Carman Electra.

I have records!
RECORDS I SAY!!!

08:52 pm: hah

You scored as Hoban 'Wash' Washburne. The Pilot. You are a leaf on the wind, see how you soar. You have a good job, and a stunning wife who loves you (and can kill people). Life is good, which is why you can't help smiling. Now if you can just get people to actually listen to your opinion things would be perfect. </td> Hoban 'Wash' Washburne 100% Simon Tam 88% Inara Serra 69% Zoe Alleyne Washburne 63% Kaylee Frye 63% The Operative 50% Shepherd Derrial Book 38% River Tam 31% Capt. Mal Reynolds 25% Jayne Cobb 0% Which Serenity character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Hah!
wow... I knew I'd be wash, but 100%?!!

I am a dork and I approve of this results.
and this test.

08:40 pm: return of sanity
for reason unbeknownst me, I get a inkling to return to the society.
As with my 100 other tiny new mottos, chances are, this new: "reach out more"
theme seems to be doomed within a week.

I will most likely disappear completely from IM again.
I will most likely destroy the formerly vibrant livejournal, yet again,
through disinterest that was 99.5% blamed on my girlfriend.


******************


I promise myself I shall never deny me another d.c. trip again
when the only thing that stands between me and the city is my undeniable fear
of running in to a tree swirving to avoid an evil squirrel that Geico commercial style.

That and the minor lazy problem.
But it's ok. I found a solution around it.
I'll just have to find a friend to be socially lazy with,
that way no one will be able to accuse me of being a lazyholic.

It's not that I hate the town I live in, it's great.
The hicks I see in the local wal-mart has humbled me, I am now enlightened
with the knowledge:
that previously the only wannabe redneck's I've witnessed are lvl 2 village folk at the most.
And apparently after redneck lvl 3, you are automatically powered up for a nice 50lb boost.

I thirst from henceforce, seeking the legend, in mapping out all the lvls of holy hick-ness.
And map out the empire of nascar kingdom.


If you are offended by this in any way, I just like to remind you that:
there are black hicks too.
I was thoroughly shocked to find this out.
But if there are black cowboys, damnit who's to say you can't 1 day grow up to be a black hick as well?


*****************


The agony that is D.C. driving, that robs me of good 4 hours every time I go, is
like booze to bender. I need it to function properly.

And my ambassador to the drunken stupor that is D.C, is my good friend Matt.
Over the years he helped me finally realize the difference between a 'good friend' and 'drink'n buddy'

If are patronizing me for my newfound insight in to the true meaning of 'drink'n buddy',
and tempted to doff your shoes and chuck it and me in disgust for shaming the drinking community,
I implore you, do YOU truly know the difference?

Unlike a good friend's requirement, a proper drink'n buddy must come with a lot of pre-requirements.

My good drink'n buddy Matt here, is very resourceful.
He used to live in the heart of Adams Morgan, the bar central. He knows the in's and out's
of all the bars. As a man who seeks life answers in local wal-mart, I find this resource invaluable.


*****************


But that info isn't all THAT hard to achieve.
Matt comes with a much more significant asset to the friday and saturday night binging in that,
he carries with himself a very nice stack of local ho's.
But worry not my friends who've seen a picture of my friend Matt, this is not a critical error.
*OH SWISH~~~~*
The local phenomenon that matt brings in that ensures the 1.5+:1 girls to guy ratio that has the local ding dongs eyefucking the girls from "our group" in envy and jealousy, brings a very guilty pleasure that I know every guy can relate to.
If you are a guy and you deny this and berate me mentally then I give you my sincerest sympathies that your tooth fairy was on vacation on your 5th baby tooth and the only one who could cover for him was the testicle fairy.

It's a wonderful habit that I leave the first half of my sentence in such an endless tailspin of analogies that the sentence-dooming period is legally required before I can finish the sentence that usually require a gigantic BUT in the middle sentence.
See there? Follow that sentence ok?
The point I was going for is, that as good at local pimping with a license my good drink'n buddy Matt claims to be, I must hand the honors to his one GAY friend David.


*****************


Let me introduce you Dave with a story told by one buzzed Matt in his absence:
"Dave's brother was telling me when I first met him, about his brother and at his first time he was there with 4 people in the room. I was like: sWEET! an orgy! his girlfriend and his friend and his girlfriend? He shook his head. Then I yelled: DAMMMMMNNN!!! 3 GIRLS?!!!! and he said nooo. Then lil more disappointed I was like: Oh I guess 3 guys and a girl is alright... and his brother said: Try again. I was drunk and I got so confused: Wait... I just went through all the combinations. Hold on. ohhhhh........."

Ok, I guess that story was totally unnecessary but the point is that this gay Dave,
is Matt's new best friend here and apparently colleges hot girls around him like a hot girl collects records of sleeping with ugly rockstars.


****************


Ok, that last part, in fact most, no, all, oh my god comma some more, didn't have any point at all.
But I feel like I'm at a severe disadvantage here.
Fricking apparently the residents that lived here before me had DirectTV,
and as a big sign of "FUCK YOU" to me, that completely obliterated the cable box.
Or at least that's how the cable guy described it to me.
Or at least that's how I chose to understand it.
See, the people who lived here before me were black and I imagine the father looking and bling'n
like Mr. T and powerbombing the cable TV box.

OH MY GOD RACIST!!!!

OK, the end. I am going to go eat.
I must eat well so I don't get supersick with my liver sonogram that I'm getting tomorrow and blow my retirement fund to my hospital bills. In which case I will look like:

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/175/1702/320/wm.1.jpg

except starching more shirts and making more shitty kia cars.
OH MY GOD RACIST!!!!

12:58 pm: holy molly...
bodyslam.ytmnd.com

wow...


I'm in love.

12:43 pm: crap...

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	High
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Very High
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Very High
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

04:52 pm: things I've learned...
about girls...
things they throw a fit when they hear, but secretly love to hear in that cute way:

"I love being with you... I just don't wanna be seen.. with you."

"Oh I like not having fun... I mean... Your way of having fun."

"what?... I was just checking out those because I can't believe how fake and round and perfect they are."

ahhh... those kooky girls.
thinking they can fool us...

01:51 am: It seems that...
this livejournal is slowly un-existing.

Sad about it?
well...

http://youloseanimated.ytmnd.com/

It's hypnotic isn't it?...